YO!!! Wanna live in the Garden State? Thanks to my classmate Laurie for contributing this article.


Name: _____________________________

Nickname: _____________________________

Address: _____________________________

Exit # (NJ Turnpike): _______

Exit # (NJ Parkway): _______

Ethnic Background:
___Italian ___Sicilian ___Jewish ___Irish ___Polish ___African-American ____Hispanic

___Mechanic ___Truckdriver ___Meatpacker ___Dockworker ___Hairdresser ___Avon Sales Lady ___Waitress @ Bennigan's

Backyard Smells Like:
___Sewage ___Sulfur ___Garbage ___All 3

# of Muscle Shirts Owned:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Tour Shirts Owned:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Shirts That are Also Muscle Shirts:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Brand of Jeans Preferred:
___Sergio Valente ___Jordache ___Sassoon ___Z.Cavaricci

Percentage of Wardrobe Which is Skintight:
___100% ___95-100% ___90-95% ___85-90%

# of Gold Chains Owned:
___10-15 ___15-20 ___20-25 ___25 and above

# of Gold Chains Worn at One Time:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Approximate Value of All Jewelry:
___$5-$10 ___$10-$15 ___$15-$20 ___Stolen

Number of Applications of Obsession/Polo/Drakar Before Going Out:
___10-15 ___15-25 ___25 and above

Gold Cap on at Least One Tooth?
___Yes ___No

Hair Height (must be completed by applicants seeking residency in Bayonne)
___6-8 inches ___8-12 inches ___1-2 feet ___More than 2 feet

Hair Products Used:
___Hair Spray ___Styling Gel ___Mousse ___Extra

Hair Styling Gel:
___Bondo ___Spackle ___40 Weight Oil ___Krazy Glue

Automobile Owned:
___IROC Z ___Firebird ___Camaro ___Mustang ___Thunderbird (You got a f***ing problem with this?)

Number of Inches Car is Off the Ground:
___6-8 inches ___4-6 inches ___2-4 inches ___Under 2 inches

___Gold chain around license plate
___Neon lights around license plate
___Neon lights under car
___Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging from rear view mirror
___Garter hanging from rear view mirror
___Chrome hubcaps
___Stick-on window tinting
___Stick-on paint splash stickers
___Fuzzy dice TATTOO
___Crown deodorizer on dash or in rear window

Favorite Sports Team:
___F***ing Giants
___F***ing Jets
___F***ing Mets
___F***ing Yankees
___F***ing Nets
___F***ing Knicks
___F***ing Devils
___F***ing Rangers
___F***ing Islanders

Favorite Music:
___Bon Jovi
___Bruce Springsteen

Favorite Actor/Actress:
___Joe Pesci
___Robert DeNiro
___Al Pacino
___Marisa Tomei
___Annette Funicello
___Anna Magnani

Favorite Movie:
___The Godfather
___The Godfather Part II
___The Godfather Part III
___My Cousin Vinnie

Favorite Profanity (each proceeded by YO!):
___Douche Bag

# of Religious Statutes at Grandparents' House:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Relatives Named "Sal"
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Relatives Named "Cookie"
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Relatives Named "Vinnie"
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Favorite International Destination:
___Asbury Park
___Seaside Heights
___Great Adventure
___Secaucus Outlets

Favorite Driving Technique
___Attacking stop signs
___Doing 106 mph on the right shoulder of the parkway
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (non-related)
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (own grandparents)

NJ map courtesy of